


Just Give Me A Reason

by GallifreyanHeroine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:32:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5721184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanHeroine/pseuds/GallifreyanHeroine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sonja takes her daycare children to meet the Avengers, everyone wins. Everyone, except Sonja. Rated M for some language and suggestive themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Sonja had been convinced this was a good idea. A field trip for the children of her daycare, to see their favorite heroes: The Avengers. The children had been so excited, and the PR manager she'd spoken to had thought it was a wonderful idea. Still, when Sonja led the children to the large, official-looking building, she couldn't help the small tingle of nervousness.

Inside wasn't too much better, though the kids seemed to love it already. Several had worn whatever Avengers gear they had: several Iron Man helmets, many t-shirts, a few shields, and even one child with large green plastic hands. Many of the workers they passed had given little laughed and taken photos of the little ones, and all too soon they were brought into a conference room with all glass walls. The children chattered happily, though one or two stuck quite close to Sonja's side. She spoke with them, making sure they weren't too nervous. Movement from the corner of her eye brought her gaze up, to meet an all too familiar green stare. She would know those eyes anywhere, had spent far too long looking into them. It was Loki.

He turned a corner, though his gaze never left hers and she could see the spark of recognition in his eyes from here. As he disappeared from her view, she found herself torn. She had promised the kids the Avengers, but she didn't know how long she could stay here. It likely wasn't safe for her, if what they said about Loki was true. Soon, the team arrived, and the room was full of the cheers from the kids. A few cameras from local news channels were looking in through the glass, and rather than the usual Q&A, the heroes sat on the floor with the kids and chatted. Each came in full uniform, though the more dangerous parts were gone; Hawkeye had no arrows, and the Captain didn't have any guns. The shield was here, and so was the full Iron Man armor. The young boy with the green hands was looking up at a man in a dress shirt and slacks in awe, and she realized that must be the Hulk.

They spent two hours with the team before she had to have the children home. She ushered them towards the door, each giving a small groan that they had to leave. As the last one out, she stopped to shake hands and thank the team. They seemed more than happy to help, and even offered services for future events. A few workers escorted the group of youngsters out, and they all stood on the sidewalk chattering happily while they waited for their ride to be brought around. The children were just being loaded into the van when Sonja felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned with a smile, expecting some member of staff had found a forgotten toy, only to come face to face with Loki himself. She felt herself pale and her smile faded as he studied her. The children were watching in awe.

"I'm sorry, sir, can I help you?" She managed to keep her tone friendly, though she took a small step back. A flash of hurt crossed his features before they became analytical once again.

"L-Lady Sigyn. It's me, it's Loki. Surely you recognize me." He kept his voice low as he reached up to brush a hand over her cheek. She turned her head quickly, ignoring the way he now looked at her as if she had slapped him. She moved to the driver's side of the van, though he followed along after her.

"I'm sorry, you've got me confused with someone else. My name isn't Sigyn." Her stomach rolled as she opened the door, climbing in quickly. A few kids looked on curiously. He stepped back as she put it in drive and pulled away, not once looking back to the man she could practically feel watching her. She had thought this was a good idea. Now, she wasn't so sure; he'd found her.


	2. Chapter Two

The parents had come to get their kids shortly after they arrived back at Sonja's home, and many were thanking her profusely for taking them on such an adventure. She had smiled and explained how it was nothing, but once they were all gone her smile was gone. She clenched her fists as they began to shake, and she began to consider moving again. Of all the realms, why did he have to be on this one? Why did he have to recognize her? How had he recognized her? She looked at her long brown hair, frowning. Maybe it was time to cut it again after all.

A sharp knock on the door pulled Sonja violently from her thoughts. She approached slowly, opening it just a crack. There he stood, on her doorstep with a pained, regretful look on his face. She didn't particularly want to see him, but she wasn't about to admit he was right, either.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't open the door anymore, not wanting him to think she was inviting him into her home. He took a deep breath, and she briefly wondered if this was hard on him as well.

"Sigyn, I know it is you. You may appear as the mortals do, but I know you best." He pressed as close as the door allowed, and she had to fight the urge to slam it in his face. "Please, let me in. I simply wish to speak with you, nothing more." Memories came unbidden and unwanted to her mind, of the times they had sat in his sitting room, discussing books and court gossip. She took a shaky breath, opening the door just a bit more but blocking the opening with her body.

"Loki, you need to leave." She let her natural accent slip through, and a look of relief crossed his face. He reached for her, but she shook her head. "No. You need to leave, please, before someone sees you here." He looked confused.

"I did not come to harm you, if that is your worry. I can have Thor come to chaperone if it's truly a problem." She groaned, closing her eyes briefly and taking a deep breath.

"Loki, it is not a matter of propriety. I don't want you here. And there is nothing we need to discuss." Her chest ached with feelings she was sure she hadn't felt in over a century; she certainly didn't want to feel them now. He looked wounded, and she couldn't help the regret that poured into her. She debated a few minutes before cursing herself under her breath quietly and opening the door fully. "Fine, you can have five minutes. But then you leave." He rushed in before she could stop him and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm to have five minutes? Norns, Sigyn, I haven't seen you in 200 years!" He exclaimed. She wriggled out of his grasp and moved to close the door, before leading the way to the den. Loki followed behind, looking around in interest at her home. A home you'll have to leave now… The bitter thought was more than unwelcome as she took a seat on her couch. Loki sat next to her, turning to face her as fully as he could. He studied her closely, seeming to be comparing what he saw to his memory.

"So, why are you here, Loki?" He blinked at her wary tone, taking in her crossed arms.

"Sigyn, we were the best of friends, and then one day you were gone. You didn't say goodbye, or leave a note, and all my mother would say was you had gone home." He shook his head. "I wanted to look for you, but she said I couldn't. Why did you leave?" Her jaw clenched at his innocent question, though she had spent a long time hoping this day wouldn't come.

"I left because I couldn't stand to be at court any longer. My family was…disappointed, but understanding. I would not have wanted you to come looking for me, and I'm less than happy that you found me today." She had dropped her gaze to the sofa, shifting uncomfortably. She knew he was looking at her, and she knew what was coming next. "I don't know what you expected, coming here to speak with me. It does not change anything." He moved closer, and she fought with herself on whether or not to move closer or away. He took her chin gently and brought her face back up to his.

"Sigyn, I came here to plead with you. I have missed my friend deeply." Loki looked genuinely sad, and Sonja couldn't help but feel bad. "At least tell me what at court made you leave us." She studied him for a bit, wondering if he already knew and was simply making her admit it; he didn't seem to.

"I left because you found yourself enthralled with the Lady Sif, Loki." He blinked, clearly surprised. "Oh please, you knew I was convinced I had fallen in love. I'd done everything short of proposing to you myself." She flushed, embarrassed by admitting to something like this. She pulled away from his grasp and stood, running a hand through her hair and turning her back to him. "Within a week of her arrival, you no longer wanted to spend tea with me or walk the gardens. I stayed as long as I could, but it became too much to constantly hear of Sif. I spoke with your mother, and she helped me plan my trip home." She turned to him, and noted the small spark of pain and anger in his gaze. She sighed, starting for the door again. "Perhaps it's best you leave now. Please do not tell Thor of this." Loki stood quickly, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him quickly. She frowned, looking up at him in confusion.

"Why did you not tell me of this? I could have helped, I…I…"

"What, Loki? What would you have done?" Anger spiked in Sonja's chest. "You were determined that Sif would be yours. I lost the only true friend I had a court. You would not have done anything, other than brush me away when I spoke to you of how I felt." She glared and roughly pulled her arm from his grasp. He looked absolutely shocked, and she could understand why; she had always been so soft spoken, so eager to please the royal family of Asgard. Midgard had changed her a great deal. "Now, leave. You bring nothing but memories I no longer want." He seemed to collapse, but nodded, and she led him out. He stepped out the door, but turned at the last minute.

"I swear to you, Sigyn, I will make it up to you. I will earn your friendship again, no matter the cost." He leaned in to peck her cheek before leaving quickly, leaving a frustrated and confused Sonja in his wake. She couldn't help but think of all the ways it could have happened differently, and she knew this was only the beginning.


	3. Chapter Three

The next few days passed uneventfully, but Sonja couldn't seem to relax. She made sure it didn't affect the kids or the clients, but every night once they were gone was a battle with her own emotions. She gripped the counter in her bathroom too tightly one night and crumbled the edge; another night she crushed a wine glass in her hand. Loki showing back up in her life had started to destroy what control she had built for ages, and she began to truly worry. She was extra careful around the children, but she wasn't sure if it would last.

When she heard the knock on the door on the fourth day, she felt her heart jump to her throat. She gave an impulsive swallow as she slowly opened the door. Loki stood there in his finest Asgardian garb, a single white rose in his hand. She was suddenly lifted into the air by large arms, a gentle hug enveloping her. It took a few minutes before Sonja realized Loki had brought Thor along, who was now hugging her like she was a long lost sister. She glared at Loki as Thor set her back down, his golden face all smiles.

"I told you not to tell him, Loki." She growled at the trickster. Thor's smile faltered as he looked between them both; Loki simply shrugged.

"He simply wished to stop by and say hello. It seems he missed you as well." A thought struck Sonja then: Loki had brought Thor on purpose. He was using his lovable brother to try and guilt her back into his life. Cold fury built in her chest and she shook her head before turning towards an increasingly confused Thor.

"I apologize, Your Highness, but I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave. I have quite a bit of work to do for tomorrow. It was lovely seeing you again." He frowned, but nodded and turned to go. Sonja briefly wondered why his brother couldn't behave in a similar fashion. As soon as he was gone, Loki shut the door and gave her a bow, offering the rose. She hesitated before taking it, moving to the kitchen to place the flower in water. He followed along at a respectful distance, and she was grateful as she tried to formulate a response.

"I seem to recall you had a deep love for roses." He spoke quietly, as though he didn't wish to startle her. She was surprised he had remembered, all things considered, but stayed quiet as she filled a small vase with water and trimmed the stem just a bit. She was too distracted by his presence and caught her thumb on a thorn. Hissing, she pulled the digit into her mouth while finishing with the flower. He was suddenly there, pulling her thumb from her mouth and holding her hand in both of his own. She felt a cold breeze flow over her skin before he released her, the small cut healed.

"Loki, you weren't supposed to come back." Sonja spoke quietly, avoiding his gaze as she found a place to display the rose. "I appreciate the gesture of the flower; however, I do not appreciate you bringing Thor in the hopes of convincing me through guilt." Loki scoffed and shook his head, but stopped when she turned to look at him. "I'm no fool. I know that's why you brought him here. It's not fair, to me or your brother." He had the decency to look ashamed, and she nodded.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He admitted, shrugging. "I just know I'm willing to try anything if it meant you would allow me into your life again." He looked as though he held the entire galaxy up with his shoulders, and she realized she might have been unfair. She sighed, moving to the cupboard and pulling out a box. He watched curiously as she put a kettle on and prepared two mugs. She made two servings of hot cocoa and nodded for him to follow her to the living room. She waited until he seated himself before handing him his mug and sitting with her own.

"So, I suppose I could stand to hear how things happened after I left." She sipped her cocoa as she carefully thought over what she should ask. As much as it might hurt, she knew which one had to come first. "Did you end up marrying Lady Sif after all?" He flinched, and she knew she had hit a nerve already.

"I did not. As it turns out, she only had eyes for my brother." The bitterness in his voice was well concealed, and she had to wonder how much time had passed since he'd discovered that. He studied the mug in his hand before taking a tentative sip.

"I see. So, Thor and Sif…?" Loki quickly shook his head, giving a dark chuckle.

"No, my dear brother chose a Midgardian woman over Sif. It caused quite a stir in court." Sonja couldn't help but be shocked, but she also knew one didn't control love. She couldn't help but be proud of the older Prince; he'd always been jovial, but also selfish and pompous. Whatever had happened, it was clear now he was no longer the same way.

"So, in the end, only Thor gained what he wanted. An interesting chain of events, truly." He tipped his head in confusion and she shook her head. "Never mind. What else has happened since I left?" His eyes became a careful blank, and she was worried she'd asked the wrong question.

"Thor attempted to start a war with Jotunheim and was temporarily banished. I…I attempted to claim Midgard, and have been imprisoned for the last year. I'm on something called 'probation.' As long as I am free, I do not care." Talk of war hit her hard, and immediately New York came to mind. She gave a small gasp, and he nodded as though he knew what she had realized.

"Loki, why would you do that? Why attack a peaceful realm?" She set her cocoa down, concerned now as she pulled her legs under her to face him fully.

"It was a foolish wish that a Titan made possible…for a cost." He looked away and she paled. Instantly, she took his hand, squeezing.

"Loki, whatever that Titan took from you, it is nothing. You are here, alive, and this realm is healing at a rapid rate. You're going along with your punishment, and you seem genuinely remorseful." He looked at her, wary now. "If he took advantage of whatever after affects came from Thor's foolishness, then you are not to blame." He nodded slowly, and Sonja wondered if no one had told this to him yet. It took her a few moments to remember that this was not Asgard, and that 200 years had passed since they'd been close like this. She pulled away, turning her face as she warred with herself.

"Thank you. It is nice to hear that someone cares." He leaned forward to put his mug down, before sliding a bit closer to her. She cursed, realizing it would be impossible to escape him now. Yet again, the thought of moving again occurred to her, and she glanced towards the drawer where she kept paperwork for just such an occasion. Loki's hand on her shoulder pulled her from such thoughts, and he stood. "I believe I have troubled you enough for the night. I shall see myself out." He collected the mugs and returned them to the kitchen, and all too soon Sonja heard the door shut. She was alone, and for the first time, it truly scared her.


	4. Chapter Four

He was gone for another few days, and Sonja set up her usual daycare kids with a friend of hers. She told the parents she was sick, and it almost wasn't a lie. On the third day, Sonja decided she needed to get away for awhile, and so headed out to a ranch she knew of outside of the city. It only took a few minutes for her to pay before she was sighing happily and preparing a horse for a trail ride through some local woodland. She took great care in brushing her horse down, and soon had the great animal saddled. The fresh air felt wonderful as she started down the nearest path. By lunch, she had all but lost her anxiety over the return of her old friends, and was finally able to consider all the options carefully.

Finding a clearing, she stopped for a bit to have lunch and give her horse a break. She let him graze a bit nearby as she laid out a blanket to sit on and began eating. She closed her eyes, sighing again as any leftover weight in her chest lifted. The next few hours were spent riding around, and soon she was returning home. It was dinnertime by the time she arrived, and she opened the door humming lightly, already planning out a fun dinner to cook. She stopped dead just inside the door, her jaw dropping in amazement. Every flat service in her home seemed to have vases of roses, every single one a pristine white. A small path cut through the vases on the floor, allowing her to walk around and admire them. She knew instantly who they were from, and she couldn't help but admire his determination. Reaching her bedroom, she found her bed to be clear, save for a single white rose and a note on her pillow. She sat on her bed and lifted the rose to sniff it, noting the distinct lack of thorns. She opened the note carefully, unsure of what it may contain.

Sigyn,

I sincerely apologize, both for how I behaved the other night, and how I treated you when we were young. I took your friendship for granted, and you were right to leave me. I only ask that you may forgive me, just enough that I could be in your good graces once more. I desire nothing more than to hear your laugh and enjoy afternoon tea with you again. I will no longer arrive at your home; instead, I will give you the right to choose. If you will have me, I will meet you at the botanical gardens tomorrow afternoon. I hope to see you there.

Loki

She gave a small gasp despite herself. This was the most she'd ever seen him do for someone else, and it made her wonder just how much he had changed in the two centuries she'd been away. Biting her lip, she considered her options. She looked around the bedroom at the roses, chuckling to herself. Loki was always so dramatic, who knew what he had planned for tomorrow. Sonja decided she would go, and she knew just what she would wear as well. A small nagging part of her was worried about what would happen, but she was too happy to care.

The next day, Sonja entered the botanical gardens in an old Asgardian gown she had kept with her. The material swished around her feet as she made her way down the pathways. She couldn't help but wring her hands a bit nervously, worried that he may not show up. Finding a bench, she sat down and stared down at her hands while she waited. It felt like an eternity, filled with passerby giving her strange looks and snapping photos.

"You came." A relieved, familiar voice spoke above her, and her head snapped up. He was dressed in a simple pair of dress slacks and a green button down shirt, and he held a small bundle of white roses. She gave a small chuckle as she stood, a bit nervous.

"Yeah, I did. I had a lot of time to think and I realized how much I've missed you these last years. I do forgive you; after all, we've all done stupid things in the name of puppy love, haven't we?" Sonja chuckled a bit, and it seemed to relax Loki. He offered her the flowers and she took them carefully.

"I'm afraid you are correct. Now, as the first order of friendship business, I think we should have our tea. Wouldn't you agree?" She nodded and tucked the flowers in the crook of one arm, using the other to link up with his. They left the gardens and headed down the street.

"You know, I have far more roses than I know what to do with at this point." Sonja kept her tone light, though she was just a bit serious. He nodded with a mischievous look.

"I'll take care of them when I'm allowed over next." He opened the door of a café for her, following her inside. "You look lovely, by the way. You kept such a fine dress. Why?" She took a seat in the back corner and thought for a moment.

"I supposed I missed home. The courts were a truly wonderful place to be, and I couldn't bear to get rid of my reminders." She leaned a bit closer, speaking softly. "I usually wear one of my gowns on Halloween for my children. They love it, always calling me a princess." She chuckled. "If they only saw a royal gown."

"I see." He seemed far off in thought, and she waved a barista over with a smile. The young woman was gushing over the dress for a few minutes before taking their order. They spent the rest of the afternoon discussing the different parts of their lives. He dropped her off at her home, and left her with a kiss on the cheek and a goodbye. She practically danced her way inside, moving the vases to the less public areas of the house in preparation for the children coming the next day.


	5. Chapter Five

The next few days, Sonja would use the flowers for different activities. The children loved them, and often any crafts made were given to their mothers. Sonja was more than happy to share, and everyone seemed happy. She was glad to have her friend back, even if he hadn't talked to her in awhile. On the third day, she received a package. It took her some time to open it, curious about its size and weight. Once it was opened, however, she couldn't help the small gasp that escaped. Inside was a fine gown, clearly of Asgardian origin, and it was of far superior quality than anything she had owned. Sonja knew instantly who it was from, and the smile on her face was so large it nearly hurt. She heard a knock at her door, but it took her a minute to release the gift and shuffle to answer it.

"I hope you got my gift." Loki stood on the other side in a Midgardian suit, hands in his pockets as he smiled down at her. Sonja pulled him into a tight hug, feeling his quiet chuckle rumble through them both as he hesitantly returned the sentiment. "I take that as a yes. I am glad."

"Loki, it's beautiful! But, you didn't have to go through that trouble." She pulled away to look up at him, shaking her head. "I don't even have occasion to wear it."

"Well, I assume you'll want to show your children." His hands went back into his pockets. "Not to mention, I may have just such an occasion for you." She raised a brow, waiting for him to reveal what he had in mind. "Tony Stark is holding a charity event in a week, and we would be honored if you would attend." Her heart soared at the idea of a grand party, but still she hesitated.

"Wait, we? Are you saying Tony Stark invited me himself?" She couldn't imagine how the billionaire would have remembered her after one day with the children, but she supposed she just might not be giving him enough credit.

"That is also true, yes, but he is not who I meant." He gave a grin and stepped to one side, allowing Thor to poke his head around the door with a hesitant smile. Sonja pushed past the trickster to pull the larger man into a hug as well.

"Your Highness, I do apologize for my behavior before." Thor gave a laugh, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"You may call me Thor, my lady, and there is no need to apologize. I had been unaware that my brother had invited me without permission." She pulled back to see Thor giving his brother a reproachful look, which was met with a shrug. She gave a small laugh, and waved them in.

"Come on, I'll put some tea on, and you boys can actually stay for a little while." The filed in and she shut the door behind them, heading right to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Thor wandered the house while Loki seemed to disappear, reappearing some minutes later with the dress box in hand. He set it on the table, and leaned on the counter as she poured the tea into mugs.

"Sigyn, would you do us the honor of trying on the gown? I'm afraid I may have gotten your size wrong, and wish to make sure it does not need alterations." It was a believable reason, but she could see the glint in his eye. He really just wanted to see his gift on her, more than anything. At least some things hadn't changed. She gave a sweet smile as she handed him a mug.

"Loki, I will try it on, but you won't see it until the gala in a week." There was a moment of shock in his gaze before he covered it. "After all, we wouldn't want to ruin such a surprise, would we?" She left him there to think it over as she brought Thor his mug as well. Taking a seat on the couch with her own mug, she smirked as Loki hurried in and Thor took a seat next to her.

"You won't show us the dress? Really?" Loki pouted, and she outright laughed.

"No. Not until the gala." She looked up to him. "And if I find myself to be the only one there in Asgardian wear, I'm going to be very disappointed." Loki gave a grimace, but Thor seemed to light up at the idea of wearing the finest his position could get him. Already, Sonja was planning for the big night, and it was almost too much for her to imagine.


	6. Chapter Six

Sonja took a deep breath, smoothing her hands over the smooth material of her skirt, wondering for the hundredth time if this was the best thing for her. It was wonderful to have her friend and her Prince back, but that didn't change what had happened. She looked up as the car pulled in front of Stark Towers, and immediately paled at the sight of all the cameras and paparazzi. The driver, a man who'd called himself Happy, glanced back at her in the mirror.

"Just pretend they're not there. You look great, don't let them ruin anything for you, miss." He gave her a warm smile, and she moved forward a bit to give him a grateful one in return.

"Thank you, Happy. And please, call me Sonja." He nodded and she took one last bracing breath before nodding right back to him. He exited the vehicle and moved to open her door for her. She stepped out with a small smile to him, and focused her gaze on the front doors. Allowing herself to think back to her days at court, she held her head high and strode with confidence to the entrance. Every step made her more confident and comfortable, and when she entered the banquet hall, she felt as much as a princess as she ever had. Several gazes turned toward her, including the Avengers and Loki. Thor recovered first, moving to her to offer his arm with a massive smile.

"Lady Sigyn, you look very lovely." He leaned down to tell her, boosting her even more. She smiled up at him.

"Thank you, Your Highness, but it's just Sonja now. The dress is beautiful, and I thank you for bringing it for me."

"Do not thank me, Lady Si-Sonja." He nodded to his brother, whose gaze was locked on them as they approached. Sonja could feel her cheeks heating up under the scrutiny. "It was Loki who proposed the idea. He chose the material, the color, everything." She felt her stomach flutter just a bit at the idea of Loki going through such steps. The dress was a deep blue, and it almost seemed to shimmer with starlight. There were silver designs on the top of the bodice and the hem, and he had even included a silver pendant. Before they reached him, Tony Stark stepped up to her, giving her a smile and offering a hand.

"Miss Sonja, it's lovely to see you again." He took her hand and shook it gently, turning to the red head on his arm. She was pretty, in a light green gown. "May I introduce Pepper Pots, my better half?" Sonja could see the love in Tony's eyes, and she turned to give a smile to the woman. She greeted each of the other members of the team with friendly smiles and murmured hellos, until she was facing Loki. He gave her a small smile and a bow of the head. The others wandered off, even Thor, who appeared to have a girlfriend. Sonja cleared her throat, the earlier feeling of nerves finding its way back into her mind.

"You look wonderful." He leaned close to her ear, and she turned quickly to look at him. There was a warmth in his gaze; it reminded her so much of their younger years that it nearly hurt. She was quick to drop her own gaze to her hands, fiddling with her fingers.

"Thank you, Loki. You look quite dashing as well." He'd chosen to wear his dress robes, in his standard black and green. He looked more comfortable than she felt, but she could see the slight tic in his jaw when she looked up. There was something about this he didn't like, but he would never let anyone else know. It didn't take long for a young man to ask her to dance, and soon she was swept away. Women asked about her gown, men asked about her marital status. Her head was soon spinning with everything she was trying to process, and she finally found her moment to slip away. She found a door to a balcony and stepped out for a breath of fresh air. She rested her hands on the railing, looking up to the stars.

"Do you ever miss it?" She spun quickly, giving a gasp. Standing less than a foot behind her was Loki, his gaze trained on the stars above. She let out a heavy breath, slumping a bit against the railing and following his gaze.

"Sometimes. I wonder about my family, my people, the court…" She trailed off, leaving it unsaid whether she had thought of him over the centuries. They stood in silence for a bit before he pressed close.

"Sigyn…Sonja…did you really leave because of me?" He moved closer, and she brought her gaze to his in surprise.

"I…" She hesitated, skin flushing in embarrassment. It had been petty, but in the end living on Midgard had been wonderful. She had learned so much, and her friends through the ages had been very understanding.

"Please, do not think to lie to me. I only wish to know the truth." His gaze bored into her, and she held back a flinch. He was close enough that she should have been able to feel his warmth, but it was almost undetectable.

"Yes, Loki. I left because of you." She dropped her gaze, shifting her feet awkwardly.

"I had not realized…" He sighed, resting a hand on her arm. It sent a jolt through her, and she gave a small jump. "I looked for you. I went to Vanaheim, but your family would not tell me where you had gone." He brought her gaze back to his own gently; there was a sadness there, and it twisted in her stomach. "Not even Heimdall would tell me where you had gone. He was actually quite unhappy with me for awhile, and I never knew why."

"Why would you have come looking for me? When I left, you were far too occupied to remember our afternoon tea, let alone notice I was gone." She pulled away, slipping past him and putting a few feet of distance between them before facing him again. He looked confused, and a bit wounded.

"I would not say I was quite that oblivious. I noticed at the Spring Feast that you were gone." He seemed proud of that, but it broke her heart even more. Sonja turned, heading inside.

"I should not have come. This was a mistake." More than the gala, allowing herself to believe that Loki would truly care enough to have come looking for her was a mistake. She moved quickly but discreetly towards the exit, leaving him to trail along behind her in confusion. The camera crews and reporters had gone by then, but Happy was parked nearby. He spotted her and quickly moved to open her door, his face filled with concern. It wasn't until she was in the vehicle that she realized she had been crying.

"Brother, what exactly did you say to upset her so?" Thor asked his brother in a low voice, leaning close as people turned back to their own conversations. Jane stood just at his side, concern and anger flashing across her face. Loki turned to him, confusion all over his face.

"She accused me of ignoring her very existence. I told her I knew the minute she was no longer in Asgard, at the Spring Feast." Thor's face became a mask of understanding and pity, both things Loki never liked to see.

"Brother, Lady Sonja left Asgard the day after the Yule Festival."


	7. Chapter Seven

Three months. It had taken him at least three months to even realize she was gone. Sonja didn’t know what she’d expected, but it certainly hadn’t been that. She’d been shut away in her house for the last few days, and her clients were beginning to ask questions. As much as it pained her, Sonja began looking into moving on. More than once she’d heard a knock at her door, and Loki calling through with his honeyed words. She didn’t want to listen; he’d be able to convince her of anything with that silver tongue of his. As if on cue, she heard the knock again and held back a groan. If there was one thing he could be, it was persistent.

“Sigyn? Please, open the door.” He was practically begging now, and she heard a dull thump against the door. “I’m so very sorry…I was a fool and an idiot.” Tears formed in her eyes, and she bit her lip to keep from answering him. There was a shuffling noise before he continued. “I’ll wait here, if I have to. I won’t leave until you at least let me speak with you, face to face.” She stood as quietly as possible, making her way to the door silently. There was a shadow under the door, proving his point; it almost looked as though he was sitting on the floor. She bit the inside of her cheek, debating with herself over what to do now. There was silence for some time as she sat with her back to the door, thinking over her options. He really would wait out there for years if he felt like it, and she wouldn’t be able to explain that to her friends and clients. She sighed, and heard a movement on the other side.

“I’m not going to let you in.” To her surprise, her voice didn’t wobble or break. He didn’t immediately reply and so Sonja continued. “We can talk through the door, but you will have to leave eventually.” She heard movement again, and then his voice.

“Sigyn, I want to apologize. I should have noticed sooner that you were gone, and I’m the worst friend.” He sounded so dejected, and she wondered who had filled him in.

“Who told you when I left? Thor?” There was silence from the other side, confirming what she believed. She sighed again, burying both hands in her hair and tugging gently. “Loki, I left knowing I wouldn’t see you again. That I wouldn’t have to attend your wedding and watch you happy and in love with someone else.” She could swear she heard a sniffle, but ignored it to continue. “It was painful, but no more painful than being ignored. And while I knew you wouldn’t come looking for me, it hurt to hear that you hadn’t even noticed I’d gone.”

“But I did notice.” He sounded desperate even to her ears.

“Three months later.” She thought over the events for a bit, realizing what had triggered his notice. “After you found out Sif preferred Thor, am I correct?” More silence to confirm her fears, and she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. “So, if you had managed to woo her, you would never had noticed I’d gone. You would have forgotten about me forever.” Her heart was breaking all over again, and she knew she couldn’t stay here. She took a shuddering breath, a single tear making a path down her face. “Then this time, I’ll give you fair warning. I’m leaving, Loki.”

“No, Sigyn.” His voice was a bit louder, and she realized he must be facing the door now. “Please, please don’t leave me again. I need you, I need my friend.” More movement, and she heard the doorknob rattle with his attempts to get in. Sonja’s tears were falling freely now.

“No, you don’t.” The words were nearly whispered, but she knew he would hear them. Standing, she made her way to a storage closet, pulling out a couple of suitcases. She didn’t know yet where she’d go, but she had to get away before Loki and her feelings could break her completely.


	8. Chapter Eight

Loki had spent most of the night outside Sonja’s door, curled with his legs pulled to his chest as he tried to think of a way to keep her. Her words swirled through his head and tore at his heart, driving him nearly to madness. With a sudden surge of energy he hadn’t known he’d had, he got to his feet and hurried out of the building, pulling the small phone Stark had given him from his pocket. Dialing quickly, he asked for the genius and his brother to meet him as soon as possible to help him with a problem. Not long after, they were sitting in an office at the Tower. The two men listened quietly as Loki told them all that had happened, right up to the conversation tonight. While Thor looked concerned, Stark looked smug.

“So, you love a girl, and you screwed up royally?” Tony’s smirk only grew as Loki’s eyes narrowed. Stark had always easily gotten on the Jotun’s nerves, and this was no exception.

“I do not love Sigyn. I simply want her back as my friend.” The words sounded false even to him, and Tony stood slowly, buttoning the suit jacket he currently wore.

“Listen, if you’re not willing to admit it even to yourself, then maybe she has the right idea in leaving.” Loki was on the smaller man in seconds, holding him by his throat. It didn’t take long for Thor to pull the men apart, and Tony gave a laughing cough. “I knew it! You love her.”

“Are you going to help me, or not?” Loki snapped, eyes moving between the two men. The moments of silence as they considered nearly killed him, and he lowered his voice. “Please. I don’t know what to do.” Both men looked shocked as they nodded. Loki let out a sigh of relief, and Tony swept him out the door immediately with Thor trailing along behind.

Sonja was having more trouble than usual setting up a flight. It was like every one was booked; she’d even tried to search ones with multiple transfers. Huffing, she turned back to her email, flicking through the replies her clients had sent when she said she was closing. Perhaps she should have sent it once she was sure she could leave. Shutting her laptop with a huff, she looked around at her half-packed apartment. Her gaze landed on the dress from the gala, and she bit her lip as she moved to pick it up, feeling the fabric slide across her fingertips. It had been such a wonderful night, up until their little talk. Sighing, she moved to pack up the box, stopping at an official sounding knock at the door. Hesitantly, she opened it, only to find Happy smiling away.

“Hello, Sonja. Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” She shook her head and he continued. “Great. Mr. Stark sent me to pick you up. Said to take you for a few errands and then bring you to dinner with him tonight.”

“Mr. Stark wants to have dinner with me?” Sonja arched a brow. “Why?”

“Oh, I don’t ask those questions, ma’am.” Happy shrugged before gesturing out. “Shall we?” She hesitated before getting her coat and purse, wondering just what the billionaire had planned. They’d only met once, after all. Happy chatted away as they drove, and while Sonja tried to listen politely, she couldn’t help her racing mind. When they arrived to the local shopping district, she was even more concerned. Happy opened the door. “Mr. Stark said to pick what you like, but make sure it’s formal.” She nodded mutely, in shock as she took in the designer names on the stores. One caught her eye in particular, and she made her way inside. A consultant was quick to assist her, and in less time than she thought possible, she had a new dress. She made a mental note to have it returned after tonight, just in case. Happy also stopped at a spa, an accessory store, and even helped her find a place for lunch. Soon enough, he was driving her to some swanky building and instructing her on where to meet Mr. Stark. Sonja made her way into the gardens, charmed by the twinkle lights woven through the plants and the intimate set up of the table. She could feel someone come up behind her, and turned to thank her host.

“Mr. Stark, I-“ Her words caught in her throat as Loki looked down at her with a nervous smile. One hand was tucked behind his back, and he wore a rather nice black suit tailored to his frame. Stomach filled with butterflies, she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, I was expecting to have dinner with Mr. Stark. I hadn’t realized…” He nodded slowly.

“I know. I apologize for the deception, but I doubt you would have come yourself.” Loki looked down at her, noting the soft waves of her dark hair and the shimmering gown she’d chosen for tonight. She was stunning, and it was enough for him to realize exactly how much he cared for her. He pulled a white rose from behind his back, carefully de-thorned, and offered it to her. “Please, don’t run from me this time. I’d like to talk about everything that’s happened.” He heard her swallow, even as she nodded and soothed some of the tension in his body with her single action.

“Fine. But I make no promises as to how this night will end.” In spite of the hardness in her tone, he could see the pain in her eyes, and it felt like a stab straight to his stomach. She took the rose gently, dropping her gaze to the perfect white petals. 

“All I ask is this dinner, tonight.” He moved to pull out a chair for her, and she forced herself not to be charmed just yet by his behavior. He’d been charming her for decades, and it hadn’t ended well for her. He sat across from her, and she set the rose aside as the first course was brought to them. It smelled heavenly, and as the lid was removed, it turned out to be one of her favorite Asgardian foods. Looking up at Loki, she could see him debating with himself over whether or not this was a good idea, and she took pity on him. He hadn’t been so open with his emotions since they were young, and it was endearing to see him do it now. She sipped her drink before speaking.

“Loki, I’m not sure why you thought to invite me out tonight.” He seemed to study her, though he seemed to avoid her gaze directly. She moved to catch his instead. “It was so long ago, maybe it’s time to let go.” She saw his fist clench.

“No. I have missed you immensely since I realized you were gone. I’ve been guilty over your disappearance for two centuries.” His voice was quiet and controlled, though he was tense all over. “Now, I finally find you, and I still can’t keep myself from acting foolish around you.” She sighed, dropping her gaze to the food in front of her. She picked at it, the churning in her stomach ruining any appetite she might have.

“I see.” Her tone was going to drive him insane. It was too neutral, too much like the tone she’d use for courtiers who couldn’t hold her attention. He began to question this entire plan, what had brought him to this point. Stark’s words rang loud in his ears in a smack of clarity. He loved her. He loved her, and he’d done nothing but use her. He wanted to bang his head on the table. This night was not turning out like he’d hoped.


	9. Chapter Nine

This night was not turning out like she expected. Without his usual tricks and gambits, he was making his way back into her heart. Sonja began to pray to whoever would listen that this would last, that he truly meant what he was saying. She took a hesitant bite of the appetizer, surprised to find how good it is.

“Sigyn,” He cleared his throat, and she turned back to him. “I won’t ask for your forgiveness now, because I realize my actions don’t deserve it, but do you think…maybe one day…?” He trailed off, giving her a hopeful look. She took a sip of her wine, bracing herself for what she had to say.

“Loki, you can’t expect me to simply fall back in an old routine. What happens when you find another beauty to turn your eye?” She wouldn’t survive if she had to go through all that again, and she shook her head. “I’m not some toy you can keep until you grow bored.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” His voice was hard now, and she figured she must have angered him. It was too bad, really, because she was done tip-toeing around him.

“You’ve done it once already.” Her own voice transferred the anger and hurt she felt at his betrayal, and his eyes narrowed just a bit. “What’s to stop you from doing it again? What reason do I have to believe what you say?”

“Because I love you!” The silence following his words was absolute, and he noted the widening of her eyes. The damage was done, and there was no sense in trying to take it back now. “I love you, and I couldn’t imagine losing you again.” Tears formed in her eyes and he wanted to kick himself. She didn’t believe him. And why should she?

“You can’t use my emotions to manipulate me like that.” Her voice was quiet, and a bit broken as she stared at her former friend. He was more than aware of how she felt about him, and it was cruel for him to use that against her. Even as she wanted to be angry, her heart gave a small leap at his words. He stood suddenly, and she did as well, watching as he marched around the table. She expected threats or yelling, but instead he simply took her face and kissed her. She tensed, confused, but soon lost herself to the feeling of something she’d wanted for so long.

If she was determined to leave, he was going to experience her kiss at least once, and what a kiss it was. It only took a few moments for her to fall into it, kissing him back gently. Her lips were the softest he’d ever encountered, and she had the most intoxicating taste he’d ever come across. He could spend the rest of his life here, kissing her under the stars. His own hold on her softened, and as her hands met his chest, his wrapped around her back to hold her close. She was perfect, and he knew he couldn’t let her go now. He would spend the rest of his life proving to her that he loved her if necessary, but he wasn’t going to let her disappear again. When they finally pulled apart, breathless, she looked up at him with clouded eyes. He saw the hope spark there, though it was still accompanied by a wariness he wanted to erase.

“Please, Sigyn. Give me this one last chance.” His words were whispered, and Sonja decided she was tired of fighting. With a sigh, she nodded, watching as his entire face lit up with a smile. His lips pecked hers once more, giving her heart another thrill. “I promise, you won’t regret it. I will be the best man possible for you.” She heard the hope in his voice, and for the first time, she began to let what happened all those years go. He led her back to her seat, getting her settled before reclaiming his. The entrees were brought out, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence as they ate. Dessert followed, and once the night was over he offered her his arm. “Come home with me. Please?” She nodded before she could stop herself, and he led her out to a waiting Happy. 

Sonja hadn’t known what to expect upon entering, but it was nicer than she’d thought. It seemed Loki had a suite at Stark Tower, and it reflected its owner well. There were several bookshelves filled with tomes from both realms. The furniture was a dark wood, and most of the accents were his trademark green. Kicking her heels off at the door, she padded around on the plush carpeting, before turning to him.

“It’s nice.” He gave a small smile and a nod, gesturing for her to take a seat on the couch.

“Would you like something to drink? Wine, water…?” She turned as she sat down, smiling up at him hesitantly.

“Wine, would be nice.” He nodded, disappearing into what she assumed was the kitchen. Getting comfortable, she went back to looking around the living area, picking up a book from the coffee table and flipping through it idly. He returned quickly, handing her a wine glass and sitting next to her.

“I must admit, I’m not sure what we should do now.” That surprised her. He’d always been in control, and to see him now…was endearing.

“Was that your first date?” At his nod, she couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, you’ve done admirably so far. Maybe we could just watch a movie?” He gave her a sheepish look.

“My current selection is less for entertainment, and more for education. I’m not sure what you’d like to watch.” Her smile grew, and she scooted a bit closer to him on the couch.

“That’s alright. I’m sure we can figure out something.”

“If I may interrupt,” a female voice from seemingly nowhere caused her to jump and she looked around for the source, “Mr. Stark requested a specific collection of films to be made available to you, Mr. Loki.” The TV turned on and a list of movies appeared onscreen.

“I apologize.” It was Loki’s turn to chuckle. “That is FRIDAY, a sort of assistant that Stark provides to all his…guests.” Sonja nodded, settling back into her spot. Figures Stark would have an AI built into his own Tower. Together they chose a movie and settled in, but it wasn’t too long before exhaustion overtook Sonja and she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
